Bears

You may be asking yourself several questions about this entry. First of all, how necessary it might be, doesn’t everyone know what a bear is? And, more curiously, why is it in the “Races and Organizations” section instead of the “Things” section? Well, these two queries are connected, as I will do my best to explain. First, the basics. Bears are large, furry, omnivorous animals that are found in forests throughout Thedas. Despite their size and strength, they are relatively wary beasts that usually do not attack unless provoked, are rarely seen during the day, and are territorial, meaning that with the exception of mothers and their cubs, they tend to give their own species a wide berth. All of that sound familiar? Well, it did to me too, before my inquisiting days, during which I discovered such a vast amount of evidence that contradicts all of the general, recorded, accepted knowledge about bears that I became convinced there was something strange going on.

I encountered bears throughout my time as Inquisitor, and, despite their reputation as rarely seen, solitary creatures, I can tell you that they are legion. I could not go more than ten yards, in broad daylight, in parts of the Hinterlands without another one sticking its fuzzy snout over a hill and attacking on sight. I thought at the time it might be similar to what was happening with the wolves in the area, who had been driven mad by the Fade rifts, but it kept happening after I sealed all of them. Also, none of the bears had any of the telltale signs of corruption, either direct or indirect. No green eyes or green glow or green anything, and they definitely weren’t bereskarns, which are the result of a bear being infected with darkspawn taint, either. Those are truly terrifying and easy to spot, what with the spikes sticking out and missing patches of fur and skin all over their bodies. So, these were just bears, acting completely out of character in almost every accepted way. It kept happening, too, wherever I was inquisiting, if there were bears, they were everywhere, and they were after me. I was confused by this for quite some time, until, just like that, a whopper of a puzzle piece fell smack in my lap. Eventually, though she continues to deny it, I discovered that Cassandra can speak Bear. Don’t look at me like that, how else is she able to taunt a bear in combat? Anyways, she can speak Bear, which means that the bears can speak Bear, which means they can communicate with each other in Bear, which means they can organize into an organization. That is why they’re in this section of the book. They are not mere animals, they are talking to each other. It is the only plausible explanation for the consistently abnormal behavior I observed during my inquisiting, and I will go to my grave believing it.

{Hey, folks, we would like it known that the views of the Inquisitor on this subject do not represent the views of all of us, or anyone else, really, and apologize that you had to read that. Just, cut the guy some slack, please, he’s been through a lot and, well, we all go a little mad sometimes, right? –Varric}