Crestwood is the name of both a small village and the surrounding area in northern Ferelden. Located northeast of Skyhold and south of the Storm Coast, it is home to a nice castle, a decent-sized lake, complete with a dam and, well, not much else, really. Despite this, there was quite a lot of inquisiting to do in what is normally a remote, peaceful, place. A Fade rift had opened beneath the local lake, and that was as problematic as it sounds. Demons roamed the countryside and the village was under siege by undead crawling out of the water. Bandits had taken over Caer Bronach, the aforementioned castle, putting the villagers in more danger, and there was a dragon hanging around, putting the villagers in even more danger. Also, Hawke’s Grey Warden contact, Stroud, was hiding in the area and we needed to get to him and find out what he knew about the rest of the Wardens disappearing. And, it wouldn’t stop raining, which was annoying. Naturally, the Inquisition needed to deal with all of that. Except the rain, of course, because we couldn’t and can’t do anything about the weather. After ousting the bandits, we used the local dam, supposedly broken when darkspawn overran the area during the Fifth Blight, to drain the lake and get at the rift, which stopped the demon and undead problem. In doing so, we solved the mystery of what had actually happened to Old Crestwood, the lower part of the village that was underwater when we arrived, we found Stroud, and got rid of the dragon. There’s not much more to say about the place, really, it was just a quiet, pleasant village that got several problems dropped on it all at once. After we cleared out the area and it stopped raining, it was just a quiet, pleasant place again. Oh, and it was home to perhaps the most incredible piece of equipment I found in all my inquisiting: an unholy blend of a giant cheese wheel and dragon scales that could be used as a shield. I am not making that up, I do not have the imagination for it. Seriously, this thing was more effective than many of the metal shields we used. You could say it was an extremely Gouda shield. Hang on, I can do better than that… Shields didn’t get any cheddar than that one… It provided excellent Brie-tection… It was feta than a lot of non-dairy shields… Wait, got it. It stood provolone as a shield. There, that’s the one.

{That last part, about the cheese, please tell me I can get rid of that. -Varric}
{Not a chance. It stays, I in-Swiss on it. -Sam}
{I hate you. -Varric}
{No need to get cheesed off. -Sam}
{Please stop. -Varric}
{I can do this all whey. -Sam}